 CABIN FEVER
2002 / d. Eli Roth
  
Man, how I dig this flick. Eli Roth managed to create an immensely well-made horror film, with gratutious blood, guts, vomit, and a massive assortment of skin grotesqueries that'll give you the heebie-jeebies on more than one occasion. It'll sure make the horror-loving ladies out there think twice before shaving their legs again! Fuzzy! Look for homages to a bunch of the horror classics, such as: THE EVIL DEAD, THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, THE CRAZIES, FRIDAY THE 13'TH, and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, to name only a few.
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 CABIN FEVER 2: SPRING FEVER
2009 / d. Ti West
The fever returns for another 90-minute gross out extravaganza! If excessive amounts of sanguineous upchuck appeals to you, then by golly you should Visene up those lookin' globes so you don't miss a thing! Guts, gore, puke, and urine soak almost every frame of celluloid in this uber-sick, retro-flavoured sequel. See: repulsive skin mutations, powertool amputations, and least of all, blowtorch cauterizations! Crispy! Though not nearly as effective as the first CABIN FEVER, this is one follow-up that you can't afford to miss!
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 CANDYMAN
1992 / d. Bernard Rose
Clive Barker's jaunt into urban myth is everything you'd expect. Virginia Madsen stars as a woman seeking to complete her university thesis, and in doing so discovers the local legend of the Candyman (Tony Todd). As she delves deeper into the sinister and sensual world of the former slave-turned-spectre, her world is thrown into violent turmoil. The unpolished quality of the film, coupled with realistic performances and a haunting minimalist soundtrack by Philip Glass elevate this into the higher echelon of slasher films. The horrors of betrayal and racial stereotyping are prevalent throughout, but it is also the fearless breaking of taboo by showing violence toward children and animals that makes for an uneasy viewing experience. There's enough gore to satisfy gorehounds, and enough subtle, psychological horror to appease cinemaphiles.
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 CARRIE
1976 / d. Brian de Palma
Yes we can all relate to the sheltered, special Sissy Spacek and her demented mother Piper Laurie -- both ladies received Oscar nominations for their chilling performances. But it's director Brian Depalma’s creepy look at the trauma of high school that stays with us. The gym shower, the prom, the pig’s blood, and an all star supporting cast keep this 1976 flick worthy. Forget any sequels or remakes here. (KB)
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 CHILDREN OF THE CORN
1984 / d. Fritz Kiersch
This original isn’t the best, and the entire series is fairly lowbrow in plot and effects. Nevertheless, all those rustling cornfields, creepy kids, and plant worship go a long way for a Halloween Harvest marathon. Name players come and go despite the low-budget status; and even if you’ve never actually seen all-count ‘em-seven films, you’ve probably heard of ‘He who walks behind the rows.’ I prefer CHILDREN OF THE CORN III: URBAN HARVEST myself. And to think, I grew up on a farm. (KB)
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 CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS
1973 / d. Bob Clark
The late Bob Clark is the man who brought us BLACK CHRISTMAS, surprisingly just one year after he co-wrote and directed CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS. The reason why it's so surprising is that the difference between the two films is, quite simply, monumental. The picture quality on the 35TH ANNIVERSARY EXHUMED EDITION DVD still left much to be desired, so viewers should anticipate watching many a dimly-lit night scene. Instead of the undead, the true plague of this film is slow pacing: the special effects are surprisingly decent when there are actually creatures onscreen, but it just seems to take forever until anything actually happens. It's interesting to see early films from directors who are still learning how to hone their craft, but just don't go into this film half-expecting another BLACK CHRISTMAS, or you're sure to end up disappointed.
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 CHOPPING MALL
1986 / d. Jim Wynorski
Who can say: after hours mall party!? Well friends, let me tell you: if CHOPPING MALL has taught me anything, it's that malls can offer up more nightmarish material than just long lineups, price-checks, and old ladies clipping your heels with carts... they're also full of bloodthirsty robots that'll kill you where you stand! Such is the premise of this late 80s slasher cheesefest: a group of teenage mall-ployees decide to stay after-hours and party like it's 1999 (silly kids, it won't be 1999 for another 13 years...) Unfortunately for the rebellious youths, the latest in mall security has just been revealed: a pack of metal murderers known as Defenders, whose prime directive is to keep the mall safe no matter what the cost. When the mall doors lock and the robots go rogue, the teens must work together to survive the night! Campy sci-fi slasher goodness abounds, with more lasers and mechanics than you can shake a stick at! Look for a role by Barbara Crampton of RE-ANIMATOR fame.
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 CHRISTINE
1983 / d. John Carpenter
The dream of a hot rod gone horribly awry! There are a few past names here -- and the film is sometimes billed under director John Carpenter’s clout -- but the 1958 Plymouth is the star here. You can still enjoy these creepy car deaths today, and the early eighties motifs and fifties sentimentalities add to the scary nostalgia. (KB)
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 CHRISTMAS EVIL
1980 / d. Lewis Jackson
 
Uninspired, ridiculous, and blasé attempt at a holiday horror flick. This film is so painful to watch, it actually makes Christmas shopping, on Christmas Eve, fun by comparison. I'd rather have a vasectomy than rewatch this film.
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 COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE
1970 / d. Bob Kelljan
Kitschy 70’s entry into the vampire genre, COUNT YORGA is a spirited romp that is good enough for an evening’s entertainment. The plot is nothing in the way of new: mysterious Count Yorga arrives from his European home and begins to suck his way through a group of friends in present-day California. Originally planned to be a porno, YORGA contains at least one softcore intercourse scene as well as insinuated lesbianism for all you folks looking for a different kind of stiff. The blood flows freely enough, with some lovely neck bitings and a messy staking here and there to liven up some of the duller moments. Good ol’ vampire fun for lovers of the undead. Sequel: THE RETURN OF COUNT YORGA. (JC)
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 THE COVENANT
2006 / d. Renny Harlin
A woeful, unremarkable cast and silly reliance on special effects fights ruin what could have been a superior story about modern boys struggling with their ancient Salem witchy ways. I couldn’t tell which boy was which, and the hip metal music didn’t make me care much, either. (KB)
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 THE CRAZIES
2010 / d. Breck Eisner
It's in vogue right now to slam remakes, since these days it seems as if nothing is off-limits from the grasp of the Hollywood redux machine. While I tend to agree with the spirit of the anti-remake argument, I'm also willing to acknowledge that there are times when a remake is valid, purposeful, and daresay, palatable: such is the case with Breck Eisner's remake of THE CRAZIES. By remaining respectful to the original campy classic, Eisner was able to craft a worthwhile film from Romero's stark tale of quarantine and government secrecy. Fine performances and new twists on old scenes make this highly recommended.
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 CREEPSHOW
1982 / d. George Romero
The ultimate flick for all fans of retro horror comics. George Romero directs five depraved tales of terror penned by maestro Stephen King himself. It’s a smorgasbord of beloved horror tropes and stories that never cease to be fun with multiple viewings. This movie has it all: reanimated corpses of the pissed off curmudgeon and betrayed lovers variety; a lunkhead farmer who grows weeds all over his body; a cute, furry critter that lives in a crate and likes to munch on bitch heads; and a heaping helping of flesh-hungry cockroaches that bug out a miserly millionaire! The stark lighting and visual effects give the film the actual feel of the bloodsoaked pages of an E.C. Comic and makeup wizard Tom Savini does wonders with his array of ghoulies, ghosties, and monsters. This is the perfect film to introduce any horror-shy viewer to the wonders of the genre. After all, it’s the most fun you’ll have being scared! (JC)
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